a migration without end.
Basics.
Alias — KagehiraAge — Mid twentiesGender — It's complicated (he/him mostly, sometimes she/her)Heritage — Doman, LimsanOccupation — Newly unemployed sellsword, security at the Cloak & DaggerMotifs — Black cats, steel bladesPositives — Hardworking, curious, professionalNegatives — Short tempered, unfriendly, vainMotivations — Enough money for shelter, a nice meal, weapons and their maintenance. To become stronger to live another day.
Past.
CW: alcohol abuse mention, child abuse, grooming (no CSA)Act I.The story begins twenty odd years ago, in the shadow of Castrum Fluminis. There's talk of invasion, of war, that the Garlean Empire surely won't stop at Dalmasca and Nagxia. The Kagehira family, known for their namesake sword style, is divided— half believe in Kaien, and are willing to stand alongside him to defend their home should anything happen. And the other half simply want nothing to do with war, and leave while they can.Adamantly refusing to be called a coward for it, Sayuri Kagehira and her husband follow rumors of needed labor and settle down across the sea in Vylbrand. And not long after, the two welcome their first child into the world as Doma falls.With a childhood spent immersed in the world of grapes and winemaking, Michiru Kagehira would likely be in the business today had a perfectly ordinary day not gone wrong.Her mother goes out as usual to protect the vineyard from the monsters that seek access to its produce, accompanied by the family friend who had come seeking asylum some years prior.Her father goes out on an errand to forage nuts for some tasting menu or another. Michiru is left alone at Wineport, old enough to stay out of trouble and wash grape leaves for the staff to salt brine. It's not until the sun is late in the sky that she senses something is wrong, and it's night by the time the winery sends someone out to look for their missing staff.She's too young then to understand the air of suspicion and the whispers of foul play as only her family friend returns. Something about winery runoff and gigantoads, but all she understands is that she's to believe her dad was eaten by a frog and that another one got her mom. They were not coming back.(CW for child abuse and grooming starts here.)Too young for independence and with no obvious talent for the specialized work of the winery, Michiru is released into the custody of her next of kin, a man known to both Michiru and the vineyard staff as a friend of Sayuri's. A "friend" that Sayuri had failed to disclose was no friend at all but a mildly obsessive rival from her youth. But that had been years ago, and she had been willing to believe he had turned a new leaf.The pair head for Limsa Lominsa, where Michiru's uncle turned mentor picks up adventurer work in the wake of Garlemald's withdrawal from Eorzea. He begins teaching Michiru how to use a katana, and there's something different about the way she swings the blade compared to how her mother used to teach her. But the memories hurt to remember, so Michiru tries not to do that.Between lessons, Michiru is left to her own devices. It's almost as if the only time her mentor pays attention to her anymore is during lessons, but she tries not to think about it. She cooks, she cleans, she does the laundry and she remembers what he tells her: he should be grateful he took her in and taught her how to defend herself. Imagine if she had stayed at Wineport, where no one wanted her and where she would have one day been sent out like her father to do a dangerous and thankless task. Did she want to get eaten by a frog as well?The years go by like this, and like many working children in the newly changed city, Michiru never learns her letters or numbers. Her mentor makes no effort to tell her, and he makes no effort to speak to her in Doman either. There's work to be done as her mentor gets older and needs her to start doing more. Or so he says, but it doesn't take a detective to notice that he's out late every day.Her mentor is too proud to take on work as a showy foreign bodyguard, and forbids Michiru from doing the same. So she picks up his contracts, and heads into the underbelly of Limsa Lominsa alongside its unreformed pirates. Work makes the time pass by quickly, and it's another normal day when a knock comes at the door. The peephole reveals the Yellowjackets, and she opens the door expecting to have to bail her useless mentor out of prison again after getting drunk and harassing people at a bar again.But instead, the mood is somber. The Yellowjackets actually need help identifying a body. She goes with them to the morgue, hoping it's someone she doesn't know. Her mentor was an annoyance, but he was all she had left. But somehow, she knew.She knew that when they drew back the cloth, it would be him under there, barely recognizable from the chocobo kick that had cleanly separated his jaw from his face. To go and provoke a chocobo of all things while in his cups?What a stupid, stupid way to die.And with that, Michiru Kagehira was alone again.
Act II.Now homeless without the earning power of his mentor to pay the rent, Kagehira wandered. He took jobs where they appeared, earning just enough to keep himself fed and sheltered at whatever inn he could afford that night.After taking up with a very eccentric employer, Kagehira found himself frequently traveling between his home of Limsa Lominsa and Kugane, a place that felt both like home and not. Doma was closer than ever, but Kagehira never made an effort to visit. His parents were a distant memory now, and he wasn't sure his mentor had a family grave to return his katana to.(His mother's went missing, strangely. It should have been with her things at Wineport, but there was a break-in. Surely just a coincidence, just like the unexplained deaths by suddenly frenzied gigantoads grown strong on vineyard wastewater, or something.)At some point on a job, Kagehira finds out the hard way that katanas shouldn't clash with broadswords. Though he had the option to have his own cheap katana repaired (just a spare of his mentor's, really), he decides on the more economical option and takes up the katana used by his mentor as his own. It's a little long for him, but he hopes to grow into it.He works, and works, using his spare income on a newfound interest in knives. He doesn't understand why, but using his mentor's katana just doesn't feel good. Surely it's the length that's the problem.The days pass, and Kagehira inevitably begins to let others into his life. Not that he'd call them friends, never, but they were undoubtedly in his thoughts. And that left both a strange sensation in him that he couldn't name, and something that he could name—fear.After informally joining up with a small time yakuza family in Kugane headed by someone he trusted, things were peaceful for a while. Almost long enough to set down roots, but one disastrous takeover later he found his new home broken and himself wanted by a rival family.Forced back to Eorzea for his safety, Kagehira once more confronts the familiar and the discomfort it brings...
Present.
Freshly returned to Eorzea after years abroad, Kagehira is at a loss for where to resume his life. With a stable, liveable income for the first time in a long time, he's as close to truly settling down as he's ever been. Renting rooms for a month or more at a time, no longer hopping from city to city due to work, he's no longer constantly on the move and unsure what to do about it.And that means his demons are catching up to him at last.
Hooks —Surfaceʚɞ Being back in Eorzea has reignited his love of grape wine, and he often wonders if someone like him can learn more without having to show his face back at Wineport.ʚɞʚɞ (Sorry I don't want to work on this section right now :( )
Notes.
⋇ He only goes by his surname. If absolutely pressed to give a first name and unable to go without, he answers to "Michael."⋇ He has a working knowledge of Doman. It's very clear to anyone actually fluent in it that he's not. His Hingan, despite not being fluent, is already almost better than his ability to interact with Doman. He doesn't want to think about why this makes him feel odd.⋇ His favorite alcoholic beverage is a good red wine from Vylbrand, and he's quite knowledgeable about wine.⋇ He is 5'5 with shoes, and is insecure about his height.⋇ He does not smile much. When he does, it seems to be a forced, polite gesture and little more.⋇ He appears more relaxed when wearing masculine clothing, but he doesn't dislike appearing feminine either. He feels compelled to choose one or the other, unaware there's a third option...⋇ He is very fond of blades, carrying anywhere between two to seventeen knives on his person at all times. He currently does not carry his katana, but continues to meticulously maintain it.⋇ He struggles to read, having never been taught past the basics of the Eorzean alphabet as a child. He is able to do a limited amount of sight reading, but has to phonetically sound out unfamiliar words. This has led to a fondness for bard performances and plays, allowing him to enjoy stories without needing to read them.⋇ Despite his general rudeness and foul mouth, he gets attached easily. Even believing that being sentimental will get him killed someday, he cannot help but care.⋇ He's pretty sure something is wrong with him, as lately he's been referring to himself with his birth name and acting in strange ways. Being whimsical? Friendly? Smiling, even? It's like he can't stop himself, and he kind of wonders if he's possessed or something...
the immortal butterfly.
Basics.
Name — Michiru!Age — Mid twentiesGender — Cisgender womanHeritage — Doman, LimsanOccupation — Knife, house securityMotifs — Black swallowtails (papilo bianor), unsheathed swords, lionessesPositives — Friendly, energetic, sociableNegatives — Selfish, superficial, short-sightedMotivation — Survive at all costs.
PAST.
CW: child abuse, groomingAct I, BackstageDeath left its toll on the young girl. She refused to sleep alone without a lamp burning, a fear disguised by the single room she shared with her mentor and adoptive parent. She slept with her wooden practice sword by her side, but that didn't stop the nightmares or the sight of her parents' bodies bleeding out on the blindingly white Lominsan stone.Mistrust, doubt and questions weren't allowed to linger, not when she had lost her home and survived only by the grace of her mentor. So she did was she was told to, and she was good at it. She was alive, and she would stay alive as long as she listened and kept being strong enough to dispel any threat to her safety.Never mind that her mentor cared more about her swordsmanship than her well being. Never mind that he had a drinking problem. Never mind that he gradually stopped accompanying her on jobs while helping himself to a hefty fee as her "broker." She was alive. And that was all that mattered to her....yet, there were nights when her focus would break, and she'd find herself mired by thoughts that felt entirely unlike her. Thoughts like it was unfair that she was working so hard only for her money to get siphoned into a vanity project of her mentor's. Thoughts like the fact that her body ached, and that she was beset with cuts and scrapes and that even as an adult, she still couldn't sleep at night without a light. Thoughts that felt like weakness to her. Thoughts that sprouted into doubts, and doubts that grew into actions.When she found herself staring at the mangled corpse of her mentor, she felt an odd sense of calm. Of relief. And as she stood over his corpse, she had only one question: why wasn't she more upset?
Act II, BackstageWIP...
PRESENT.
In the relative safety of their new daily life, Michiru feels incredibly, almost painfully restless. Complacency gets you weak, soft, and dead, after all.Something is wrong with her, but she doesn't have time to stop and think about it. So she continues to run as she always has, but she can't stay ahead of it forever...
NOTES.
⋇ She only goes by her given name. She prefers not to divulge her family name, and will gladly explain she has a twin brother she doesn't like if questioned regarding the matter.⋇ She prefers the katana over knives, though she loves swords in general. Spending time looking over quality weapons at the market is her idea of a good time, though she doesn't really need more than one sword. Her dream is to one day have a blade custom made just for her.⋇ She doesn't care about food. In fact, there are plenty of days where she forgets to eat entirely. She also won't consume alcohol out of concern it will muddle her senses and leave her vulnerable.⋇ She is 5'5 with shoes, and thinks she's perfectly sized and cute for it.⋇ She usually has a smile on her face, and it seems genuine enough. The only time she's not smiling is on the job, and her lack of expression has been described as unnerving.⋇ She loves cute clothes, and will go out of her way to obtain them whenever budget allows for it. In particular, she loves dresses and skirts with a lot of volume, and something draped over the shoulders. Her favorite color is green, but specifically a slightly blue tinted emerald.⋇ She is a self professed romantic, with a strong preference for romantic plays and ballads. She also states she loves hearing about people's love lives, and will react with enthusiasm. (In reality, this too is a performance of femininity in a bid to appear like a normal human.)⋇ She is somewhat disorganized, and it shows in the way she ties her hair and arranges her outfits. She also isn't too good at maintaining her finances or rote tasks such as finding a place to stay for the night.⋇ Despite her general friendly demeanor and kind words, she does not believe in loyalty and will cut someone off without a thought if they prove dangerous to her.
or...
OOC info.
About the DID:First, I'd like to clarify that the Kagehiras canonically have Dissociative Identity Disorder, and that my intent is to be respectful about it. It doesn't really show up in RP unless I clear it with my partner first, so don't worry about it.Everyone with a dissociative disorder will experience it differently, and the partial portrayal of the Kagehiras' system is not intended to represent the full breadth of lived experiences that real people have. In particular, I'm interested in exploring the experience of a more separated system, and the ways each member copes with the role they were made to fill.Currently, they are unaware of the other and just think there's something wrong and shameful about the way they feel and act.About their mentor:I left it intentionally vague since Kagehira himself has no idea what went on behind the scenes. But his mentor stood aside and let both of Kagehira's parents die out of malice, blaming Sayuri in particular for Doma's fall and the death of much of his own family. It's entirely misplaced grief and anger that he takes out on Michiru's entire nuclear family, seeing them here healthy and happy precisely because they abandoned their country.He spends a lot of time and energy taking out both his generational trauma and the generational beef between their families on Kagehira after adopting him. He even teaches his family's sword style to Kagehira out of spite, just so the last surviving heir to the Kagehira sword style doesn't even practice it. He's a shitty dude overall, but Kagehira has mixed feelings about him since he basically raised him. I think one day I'd like if Kagehira got this investigated and found out what happened, but that's far in the future...
Hello, I'm Dean.I'm a guy in his thirties who likes to yap about his OCs, and who doesn't understand graphic design.Moving on, I have a no tolerance policy for intentional bigotry such as homophobia, transphobia, racism and ableism. I understand that people aren't born knowing everything and that mistakes will be made; as long as people are willing to learn and approach topics in good faith, I'm chill.I do not enjoy IC surprises. I understand taking a defensive stance against metagaming, but I have no desire to plot with a character only to find out there is something in their backstory that is firmly on my "do not want to RP with" list. If you prefer to deliver IC surprises, it is best we do not do in-depth roleplay.I strongly prefer RPing with low powered, "dirt farmer" type characters, characters who would not be out of place as a quest or job NPC— basically, the everyday folks of the XIV world. I love exploring the game's various settings and the ways the average person lives their lives within them.I'm most available on Discord, but am available in game as well by appointment.Thank you for reading, and please let me know if this site is inaccessible.⋇ Contact
In-game: Michael Kagehira (Brynhildr)
Discord: sanidine #3769
Bonus artwork of them if they were idols and also didn't share a body.